I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
Randomize
