Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
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