Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
Randomize
