We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize