Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
Randomize
