ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Randomize
