cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
Randomize
