did you get engaged???
News Flash: Turtles are cuter than Jesus.
Congrats on damning at least 10 generations of your offspring to hell with just one text message. Way to start your morning off right.
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
Randomize
