I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
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