You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
Randomize
