We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
the liver wants what the liver wants
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
Randomize
