I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize
