How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
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