sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
Randomize
