Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.
I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
Randomize
