Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
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