and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
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