I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize
