I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Randomize
