just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
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