shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
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