Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize