hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
