Whod you bang
sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
Randomize
