who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
Randomize
