You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
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