You can't special order awesome
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize