maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
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