I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
I just gargled with NyQuil
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Randomize
