Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
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