idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
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