I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
Randomize
