her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
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