Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
