Me too!
i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
I think my nap took me to another dimension
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
Randomize
