Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
After tacos, we're chasing women.
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
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