i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
Randomize
