I*** M*****, this is your dignity texting you. I ditched you when you started hitting on bros and old sailor men last night. My friend Sarah has pictures to prove it.
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
is it fun? or sober?
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
Randomize
