is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
Randomize
