i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
Randomize
