covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
Randomize
