I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
Randomize
