I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
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