Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
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