remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
I queefed so loud it echoed.
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
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