I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
Randomize
