You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
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