I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
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