Pappa wants mamma naked
my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
Randomize
