I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
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