You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
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