Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
Be still, my beating vagina.
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
Randomize
