Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
Randomize
