how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
Randomize
