Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
Randomize
