Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
Randomize
