I wish I could teleport
Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize
