just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
Randomize
