ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
Randomize
