So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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