Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
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