it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
Randomize
