my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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