dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
Randomize
