You made me cry and you don't even care
Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
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