There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
Randomize
