There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
Randomize
