I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
Randomize
