You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Randomize
