there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
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