i barfeds in our rink
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
This can only be settled by a dance off.
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
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