My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
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