As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
Randomize
