She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Randomize
