too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
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